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    Anonymous asked:
    where is the chapter list for all i want?

    there are only 5 chapters till the end, i just updated the chapter list for you!

    Anonymous asked:
    Character. List ??????? 😁

    There was one post but it’s lost in like cyberspace in my archive. I just tried looking for it and i didnt find it. basically

    Kylie- Lauren London with blue/green eyes

    Her twin also looks like Lauren London but grey eyes

    X- is cassie…

    everyone else is kinda self explanatory… and i give pretty detailed descriptions of people… its kinda up to how you want the girls to look really.

    hopesmilediva asked:
    Great ending to an Awesome story! Xoxo

    thank you so much! seriously how did you put up with me lmfao!!! i love that you guys supported me and stuck with me till the end!! <33333 i hope that you read my other stories and that if i start a new CB fanfic, you will try and read it still! you are amazing!!! <3333

    truedreamers asked:
    Love the last chapter. It was sweet how layla & ty are back together. This story was overall really good!! Thank you for giving us all these good chapters

    thank you for reading legit like… i was always scared to write but you guys really made me love it. like i love it now thanks to you all, if i ever get published… its all thanks to you.

    Chapter 55: …& A Great Ending (Last Chapter)


    I gave up. Layla was over me. And I was over all of it. She moved on. I went home and booked a flight. I was gone. And Layla was far, far away.

    “Get home safe?” I laughed to myself. I texted her one last time.

    ME: I thought we were headed to marriage… The vows you chose made me feel like we could conquer the world.

    I climbed into my empty bed, and fell into a deep, deep sleep.


    After my party, I went home and Sean tried to talk to me, but I was in deep thought. I was already damn near sober, and now that it was past my birthday, and I was headed home, I was reflecting. Yes, Ty had nearly ruined my party, but it was because he loved me and wanted to be with me. And he had stopped drinking recently, until tonight. I was unsure how he was coping, and I was afraid he hadn’t gotten home safe. He was still important to me, no matter how I tried to replace him.

    Sean was tipsy, and was being overly touchy.

    “Stop Sean. I can’t right now. Just.. Just leave me alone.”


    “I’m so confused. So lost.”

    I heard my phone go off, and I stood still. Sean turned and walked back to me.

    I paused as I re read the text I just got. I thought about how Tyga had fallen so far from where we first started. And at every turn, every time he tried to win me back, I pushed him away. When I had picked out our vows, we said that love was not proud, nor boastful… that it excused. And all I was doing was finding ways to keep us apart.

    “What the fuck?”

    “I need time to think about things.”

    “You serious? You want that Nigga still? Man.. Fuck it.” Sean grabbed his jacket, and opened the door, slamming it on his way out. I was too tired for any bullshit. I climbed into my empty bed, and fell asleep.


    “Chris, thank God I have you baby.”

    Chris clasped my hand as he reached around my waist, lacing our fingers together.

    “No, thank God for you. And everything you made me realize I could have back. You gave me love I thought I had lost, you kept me going. I love you Kylie.” He kissed the back of my neck, and I turned to face him.

    “You showed me that all guys aren’t the same, you helped me open my eyes to a better life. You are my hero, my savior. I love you Chris. Forever. Besides our kids… You’re all I got…”

    “You’re all I need.”

    He kissed me deeply, and groaned as I bit his lip and pulled me on top of him. His length pushed into the side of my thigh, and grinned.

    “I want you.”


    “Yes girl! It ain’t his! She was a fucking lie. I am so happy.” Xi said over the phone. I curled up into Chris’s side as the call came to an end.

    “Congrats boo! You guys can now really start that happy ever after.”

    I could hear her smile through the phone, and we said our goodbyes and hung up.

    I knew Sean would be happy about that bit of news, though about the other stuff…

    A knock on the door made me jump and D ran to get it.

    “My big boy!” I said as he came back to play with Ari on the carpet. Behind him were Layla and Lili, who was in Ty’s arms.

    “My Nigga!” Chris said, as he rose to greet Ty. We hadn’t seen them for awhile. After Layla’s party, Ty left to Las Vegas for a vacation with Layla and Lili, so they could reconnect again. And it helped. They put everything behind them, and were starting new, especially for the sake of baby Lili.

    Layla and I headed off into the kitchen to start cooking Sunday dinner, and the kids stayed with their daddy’s.

    It was good to be like this. Cooking dinner, the boys drinking and watching a Heat vs. Lakers game while the kids played on the rug. Perfect.

    Past all the bullshit, past all the drama… Life was where it should be.

    I was thinking of leaving singing for awhile, to raise my family. Chris still made music, and we would probably never truly stop.. But I wanted a quiet life for myself right now. I gave a free mixtape last week that I made with Chris and Trey last week, and my sister said she plays it on her way to her great job every morning. My twin and I were on good terms, and she and Trey were going to be arriving soon, along with Mama, Austin and Trice.


    Mama grasped my hand, and we all linked hands and bowed our heads.

    “God is great…” She began, and we all whispered it along with her. “Amen.”


    We all dug in, and it felt like I was in a reality TV show. Like the camera was slowly panning out, looking down on my family as we ate our Sunday meal, and laughed and loved.

    All I got in the world… Was really all I needed.


    Thank you all for reading my fanfic, and putting up with me. I know this chapter was short for me, because i usually write long long chapters, but I just couldn’t torture yall and drag it on.

    I really appreciate everyone who read this, and seriously, you guys fucking rock.

    The only reason I was able to continue was because of you guys, and i really do it for y’all.

    Much love!! <3

    -vanessa (

    Anonymous asked:
    Im a New Reader & I was wondering who's the leading lady in 'All I Got' ?

    the celebrity i base her looks on is Lauren London. So both her and her twin sister resemble Lauren London, but with different eye colors.

    too-far-too-late asked:
    OMGGG you're doing Kaila and Breezy again!?!!!!! THAT STORY WAS THE SHIT

    yes, check out the website and the chapters page is updated

    bbygurllea asked:
    See the way you did that chapter was wrong lmaoo jk but umm Tyga need to come that shit all the way down, if I was Layla I would have snapped on his ass. Plus Tyga actingnlike it's brand new nigga everybody knows Layla been fucking Sean question is where yo crazy ass been??? Great come back though, I can't wait for the next chapter

    … i may do one more and just finish up the ty layla sean situation and then all i got will be done…

    bbygurllea asked:
    Update soon ninja

    Bruh idk.. im really running OUT of shit for this story i done did it all….


    Im really out of drama for this story, and feel like i should have ended it with the chapter before the most recent one… i mean… if i were to go on, there would be mostly drama with sean layla and ty and even then i dont feel like yall would read a cb fanfic that barely had him in it.

    im sorry guys… i tried to come up with more, but if youve been reading you know that this story went through it all. lol

    i hate to do this to yall. :/

    im sorry.

    Groupie, Fan, Stan.


    I keep getting asked this.

    I keep getting called a ‘groupie’ for Chris Brown.

    Time to teach people some terms.

    Hello. I am Vanessa. I am TEAM BREEZY. That means i am a Stan for one Mr. Christopher Maurice Brown.

    Today, someone asked how is that different from being a groupie.

    I’ll put this all in terms of Chris Brown, make it easier to understand.

    A GROUPIE is someone who’s only desires for Chris Brown is his status, and his looks. A groupie will pretend to fangirl over Chris, but really is fangirling over his money, his popularity, and his sexual prowess, which they wish to attain. You can consider them much like a gold digger. They can easily trick those who are NOT apart of the fandom. This is why guys call Stans groupies. Because they don’t realize this difference. A Groupie will go out of her way to find his location, but for her own personal goal of being seen with Chris to raise her social status, wealth, or make her seem wanted. She knows nothing of him but his mainstream music, his name, and what she can gain from him.

    A FAN is someone who like Chris Brown as a musician, artist, dancer, actor, etc. A Fan enjoys listening to Chris’s music, and may have a lot of knowledge on his songs and maybe even his life. This is greatly enhanced if the fan is related to a Stan (much like my younger sister and cousin.) Fans may seem like Team Breezy because of this, but are not. They do not CARE to know this information, but they happen to know it. It neither hurts nor helps them. They believe Chris is a good artist, enjoy his artwork, like watching dancing videos of his performances, enjoy his movies and may even go to concerts. Some would even like to meet him. BUT they are only a fan. This is not a PRIORITY for them. If they meet him? Cool. If they go to a concert? Cool.

    A STAN is Team Breezy. Team Breezy has been called ‘family’ by Chris. Team Breezy supports Chris in all venues of his life. They are like a fan, but where fans don’t care much for information, they do. They enjoy learning about Chris Brown, because where his music is an inspiration to us, it is nice to see that Chris Brown really is a normal ass nigga. We enjoy a lot of music, but we will be the first to tell you when a song is shitty as fuck. We are the first to say when Chris is having a bad hair day, when he is wrong, and when he needs to have a fucking seat. Along with loving what he does, we also happen to love him. YES we know we don’t fucking know him like his mother does. But we have grown with him, seen his progress, his ups and downs, and his videos and UStreams with fans, met him at his Meet and Greets or randomly if you’re lucky. As an artist, he does things for us, that he knows we will enjoy, such as providing free music, pictures into his life, and videos. We appreciate these things and with it our love grows. Our hopes is to be able to meet him, to be able to go to concerts, and meet and greets. Where as Fans wont much care, Team Breezy would LOVE to meet him and to see him perform our favorite songs live. The reason we are often mistaken as Groupies, is because more often then not, outsiders will see our tweets talking about his looks, wanting to sleep with him, and jokes about stalking him. HAVE YOU SEEN OUR FAVE? NIGGAS WISH THEY WERE FEMALES SO THEY COULD FUCK. SO STAND THE FUCK DOWN. Antyways. While a lot of Team Breezy would love to have some private time with Chris. A good amount would prefer NOT to sleep with him. They would like to be more of a friend, or even wish to be a sibling. And those who want to sleep with Chris do not want to so they can go and sell the story to MTO, like a Groupie would. It is just because he is that damn sexy. As Team Breezy, we get hit with everything he does. When Chris is attacked, we are attacked as well. It has happened countless times since his new CD dropped. We were called delusional, groupies, woman-beater lovers, etc. We get tweeted the woman-beater jokes. We get called names just as bad as he does. If anything, it is others who made us this supportive of Chris, because we see their hate is wrong. As Team Breezy, we promote his music, movies, and art to help Fans get up and help support him. We try to avoid groupies from this help, because they are only bad publicity. They do hoe shit, like go to tabloids with fake stories. (like the iPhone girl outside Cameo. I was there, I met Tyga and Chris that night outside Cameo and her story made no sense.) While Groupies stalk Chris to find his location to try and help themselves gain status, Team Breezy pays attention to his tweets and pictures to find his location so that we may chance meeting him WITHOUT HAVING TO PAY $549.00 FOR A MEET AND GREET IF WE ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE HIM PERFORM NEARBY. Team Breezy would just like for the rest of the world to see how amazing our fave is, and to stop the hate. We do not aspire to turn people into Team Breezy, we only wish for respect towards us and Chris.

    Like the Kenzie scale, this is also a moving scale, with people fitting anywhere in-between. You can be a small groupie who only wants sex. You can be a fan of only his music you hear on the radio. You can be Team Breezy but not be all up in others faces with it.


    I hope you have learned the difference. I tried to touch on everything, but some things about being Team Breezy cannot be explained, only felt, and you just have to be one to understand it.

    Chapter 54- To New Beginnings…



    I was waiting in my car, windows tinted, and the AC blasting. It was the first day of school for my two babies, Devante and Ariana. I didn’t have any body guards with me, today I just wanted to get my kids and take them out for ice cream in peace.

    Now, Devante was my biological child, and he was soon to be 6. I had him young, at 18, and I was 24 now. I had him with my then love of my life, Trey. Trey used to date this girl, named Genesis, who I used to be friends with. I met Trey at the studio, where we both recorded at. That’s how Devante came about. Now Ariana was the daughter of my boyfriend, Chris Brown. She was 5. He was 24 as well. He had Ari with his fiancé, Charity, who passed away in a car accident right after Ari’s birth.

    I met Chris also at the studio, and he was talking to Genesis who was also talking to Trey still. There was a bit of drama there, but it was settled. Chris and I had gone through some shit, genesis had tried to kill me, but actually shot Trey. Trey and I decided to try being a family for D, but it didn’t really work. Chris and I started messing around, and Trey and my twin sister Kamile started messing around. Chris had started dating someone named Janelle though and after they broke up so he and I could be together, she said she was pregnant, and so we had to sneak around. But at my son’s birthday party, everything came out, and there was a big blow out. But after we thought we had seen the last of crazy girls, Genesis actually kidnapped my son, and she was killed by the police during the chase, the same day I found out I had a miscarriage of Chris’s baby.

    Janelle ended up really getting pregnant by Chris’s cousin Austin, and he has a girlfriend right now, but their situation is okay, now that Austin’s girlfriend, Trice, knows that there is nothing between me and Austin. She had thought there was at one point and Chris punched Austin on the red carpet. Chris and I were good until a girl in the group he was working with put moves on him and I caught them kissing… long story. I went on tour and met a buy named Dominic who was sweet but was actually manipulative. After Chris and I got back together, he got with the girl who broke up me and Chris and beat her. I went to confront him, and he attacked me, forcing himself on me. Chris saved me, but I had already been beat and harassed by Dom. I then left to England to record my new album and help heal…

    9 months later, Chris and I are back on track, though my new album is through the roof! We had to up security and now that Chris is back to working at the studio as a songwriter, we’ve been busy. Award shows, interviews, and tour just wrapped up a few weeks ago.

    Everything with me was good.. As for my two best friends, Xiana and Layla… that was another story.


    “So the party is tonight! My birthday!!! I’m so excited. You all have to be there.” Layla said in to the phone. I was driving the kids to Cold Stone and we pulled up outside.

    “Ok, well Chris and I will see if Janelle wants to watch them, but you know she has the baby… Maybe Mama J can. I’ll ask around, and we’ll see you later.”


    She hung up, and I got the kids out the back and we walked hand in hand in hand to get some ice cream.

    I let the kids pick out what they wanted, and I had to stop to take pictures with fans and sign some phone cases. Ariana got her usual bubblegum flavor with gummy worms, and Devante loved birthday Cake Remix. I didn’t eat any, I knew the heat of the end of summer would not sit well with the dairy in my stomach.

    I let them eat in the store, and I texted Xiana. She was having drama with Terrence. She was dating the 106 host, though he was stepping down soon, to move here to be closer with her and their baby. Plus Rocsi was still trying to say her baby was Terrence’s. Xiana’s brother, Sean, already told Terrence J about Rocsi and so he was helping solve things on the New York end. Rocsi wanted child support, but she had to pay for a paternity test. I was afraid for the results, as was Xiana. We wanted it to be someone else’s. And things would get bad for Terrence by Sean if it WAS his.

    ME: Can you get out tonight for Layla’s Bday? Big event, and you are my manager, would be nice to have you there.

    I waited for a reply, and didn’t get one until I was leaving Cold stone with my babes.

    XI <3: I don’t know… I’ll try. Terrence leaves tomorrow for paternity test…

    ME: Leave baby Justin with a baby sitter and come. You haven’t been out since he was born… like… 6 months ago.

    XI <3: I know… I’ll try boo. Xoxo

    I knew that was the end of that convo and that she probably wouldn’t try and come out.

    I headed over to Mama’s and saw Chris was already there from work.

    “Hey angels!” Mama smiled at D and Ari as they came running in hugging her. Chris, as usual, was seated up on the counter, eating what appeared to be a turkey sandwich. Fat ass.

    I walked to Mama and hugged her tightly and then went to Chris. He opened his legs and I stepped between them, leaning my head into his chest as he took his final bite and chewed his food.

    After swallowing, he kissed my forehead and hugged me to him. I turned my back to his front and addressed Mama.

    “So… There’s a party tonight Mama…”

    “Go on now, I got them tonight. Don’t worry. Go be young.”

    “Race you home.” He smirked, and ran out yelling I love you to Mama. She laughed and I waved.

    “Thank you sooo much. I love you Mama.”

    “You too angel. Be safe.”

    I headed to the car, and sped off, taking short cuts to beat Chris.


    Today was August 19th. My birthday. I was 24, and excited as hell. I had a great boyfriend, and my daughter was growing beautifully. My brothers came up to see me, and we all went out to the zoo. I was like a bog kid, and so it was fun for me and Lisa-Monet.

    My older brother was going to watch Lili for me, since he was too old to be going out to the club, so he says. I wasn’t too mad about that. And as I finished getting dressed for my party, I heard my wonderful man come into the room.

    “You look… amazing.”

    I looked up from strapping my colorful 6 inch heels, and smiled at Sean.

    “Thank you Mr. Anderson.”

    He reached for my hand and I stood up, straightening my all white dress out, and we headed out to the car with my younger brothers. Sean had rented a beautiful car for tonight, and it was my new favorite car. I still had the car Michael had gotten me, but it had been sitting in the drive way for awhile… Sean had gone on tour… He was Finally Famous. And he brought me and Lili with him. He was way better then Michael on the road, spending time with us and skipping some clubs to just kick it with me and Lili.

    He opened the door for me, and we sped off to the club to my all white party of the century.


    We pulled up and there was a huge crowd trying to take pictures record us and just get to us. Sean still wasted no time opening my door, and he tossed the keys to the valet. We posed for the paparazzi, who already knew a lil something about me and Sean, but nothing more than that we were really close.

    I saw Kylie and Chris already waiting for us at the entrance, so we headed off.

    We were almost there when I heard a commotion behind us. My brothers were holding someone back. A very familiar someone.

    “Let me through Nigga!” Michael yelled in my youngest brother’s face.

    “Yo, Layla? You really been fucking my Nigga. Really? And where’s our daughter at? You left her at home to party?”

    Hell no. Michael knows I HATE for our business to be out in the media and here he was screaming it to the crowd, on my birthday no less.

    I walked over to them calmly. Michael calmed down as I approached and my brothers let go of him.

    “Michael.” I hissed. “It is my birthday. Please do NOT pull this shit, here, now, in front of everyone. Lili is safe at home. Not that you would know. Or care. Please…” I looked him in his eyes, and I could see he had been drinking. They were dilated, and he smelled of whiskey. “Just get home safe. We can talk later.”

    I turned away and walked back to Sean.

    “Happy FUCKING Birthday Layla… I knew you never loved me. You was just in it for the fame.”

    The crowd all gasped, and I turned and cut my eyes at him. He was trying it tonight.

    “Goodbye Michael.”

    I turned and headed straight to Kylie, and I pulled her in with me, wishing Michael had never shown up to ruin what would have been a perfect night.


    Man, niggas was TRYING IT. First, bitch ass Terrence was going for his paternity test tomorrow, and it better come back as not his, or we was killing bitches in new York. Now Tyga gone roll up at the club stupid drunk and pull a bitch fit?

    Boi. Trying it.

    I escorted the rest of the niggas in after Layla rushed in with Kylie. I wanted to console her, but she was a very private person, so it would have to wait till we got home.

    I ordered the bottles, and went to our section, where they were taking shots. Her other friends had shown up, and they all were getting shwasted from what I could tell. I pulled out a blunt and hit that shit, passing it to Chris, who inhaled a nice amount and passed it to Kylie. She inhaled also, coughing after and passed it to another girl. I loved seeing my niggas get loose, and I wanted Layla to enjoy every bit of her birthday.

    No fuck niggas allowed.

    The music turned to some crunk ass song, and the girls got up to dance, all in white. They were the baddest females in the club, and I came with the baddest of all. I had a surprise for her, and I hoped she would enjoy all of tonight, including the surprise at the house…

    As long as Tyga stayed out my fucking way, everything would go perfect he fucked up twice and now it was my turn.

    I’m not done!

    I’m so sorry I have been away! But I have been working on another story and I have the outline for the next chapter typed up waiting to be written!

    Thank you to those of you still bearing with me!

    I have some news! Thanks to some people, I have decided to do a continuation of Kalia and breezy! Which will be started soon as well as me re doing Do Ya Thang.

    Please continue to read my stories!


    Chapter 53- I’m Coming Home


    Rita and I went to Karaoke Night/ Open Mic at the pub every week since that first week we went. Tonight was the 4th and last night coming and I was really nervous. The group of us was full of people who were also signed: Myself, Rita, a lil two guy group, James and Harry, and three girls, Ailsa, Evie, and Libby.

    “Oye! Gimme seven shots and 3 pitchers of beer!” James yelled at the barman.

    He nodded and Ailsa went to grab a table near the stage.

    “The blokes got this.” Evie pulled me along to the table and we sat down, getting comfortable. I was nervous because we each agreed to perform tonight. And while performing is my passion, I hadn’t performed in forever… and especially since that night with Dom. I felt like I wasn’t sure. But Rita was great. I hadn’t yet been able to get on stage and sing. Last week I got up there, but I ran off. The other 2 weeks I ran before they even called my name. But tonight, I was doing it.

    “So, I have all of our names down on the list, and mate… you gotta do it tonight.” Libby said as she clapped her hand on my shoulder.

    I just nodded. I was going to sing the new song I just finished writing for Chris, the extra song on the album dedicated for him. Just to see how they would like it.

    I took my shot, and drank a cup of beer, which wasn’t all that great, but helped me loosen up. I needed that.

    We sat around and we watched the folks go up and sing karaoke or do their own songs, and some… well most were drunk and horrendous. Rita went up and did her favorite song that the others in the bar love to hear, called How We Do. Its lively.

    “Proper job Rita.” Harry hugged her and held up a mug to toast her.

    Finally I heard them say my name.

    “Alright mates, she’s going to really perform tonight! The US’s very own, Kylie!”

    I walked up on stage and sat at the stool, and used my guitar for the song. Its way more upbeat on my album, but tonight, I striped it down, and sang it for Chris. I missed him so much being away from him…

    I promised myself that when I got back, we would loosen up and live more. We met at a party, and I missed going to parties. I know its crazy, especially now that I became famous from my first album was releasing a new one, but I wanted to go back to those times. See our friends and chill, smoke a bit, drink a bit and be free. It would be hard. We had kids. But Mama always told us to get out more. We’d find a way. I sat there on my stool and I sang for my man.

    I was so proud of myself when I finished and the crowd loved the song. I couldn’t have been happier.

    I went to the bar to close our tab when a man approached me. He smelled like stale beer.

    “Oye, that was a pr-proper song there lass.”

    “Thanks..” I smiled nervously.

    “I think you wrote th-that song about meh.”

    I shook my head faking a laugh.

    “Sorry, but it was for my fiancé back home.”

    “A pretty lass like you, taken.”

    He reached for my arm and pulled me close.

    “Yer sure, I’m a proper young bloke.”

    I pulled my arm back, and turned to him.

    “I’m fucking positive. And don’t touch females like that. Its not proper. Its disgusting.”

    I ran back to the table.

    “Can we please get out of here?”

    I had felt brave talking back to him, but I didn’t want to push my luck. I knew I was getting back to normal, but little things like that made me scared.

    The girls linked arms and we walked out the bar, the guys in tow, and made it to the loft, so that I could crash. I had a meeting with the men in the morning and I was due to leave soon. I was excited. I had barely gotten any emails from Chris, he felt like we needed to really be separate to appreciate me coming home. I missed him so much.

    It was that afternoon and the men sat around holding the final product.

    “It’s amazing. Brilliant. You will sell millions babe.”

    I smiled, holding the new album, and I was in love. It was called Cloud 9. I had spent the weeks that I had free in photo shoots, and we had a great album sleeve and I couldn’t be more excited. I took 5 with me, and kissed the men goodbye as I went to finish packing. I was leaving late tonight back to the states, to be with my man.


    I’ve called her phone a million times. She wouldn’t answer. She won’t reply to texts. Heather told me she has talked to her, but Heather is icing me out. She is pissed at me, and mad at herself for not being able to stop it. She promised Layla.

    But I was the one who really fucked up.

    I had released the video, and everyone loved it and I was busy, doing interviews and shows at clubs, but every morning, I called Layla, trying to get through. I needed her and I need Lili. My baby. I hadn’t seen her in 3 weeks. I didn’t know what they were doing. But I felt like I was missing everything in her life. And I didn’t know where to find Layla. I tried the condo she lived in last time, but when I went to the door, my friend Sean, who I knew for awhile was living there. I just shook my head and walked away.

    I guess she sold that condo and found a new place.

    I sat around and hoped that I would see her out and about, but Heather and Trell wouldn’t tell me anything. Kylie wasn’t here to help. I was shit out of luck.

    I checked my phone when I heard it beep.

    She text me. Again. That dumb broad who got me while I was drunk.

    (305)874-3289: Ty, can I see you again? We can make another movie.

    I never replied to her. Fuck I didn’t even know where she got my number from! But she was no good. She knew about Layla and she still pulled that shit.

    I lay back on my bed and glanced over at the picture of us at the beach that night I got her back. I couldn’t believe I had lost her again. My anger caused me to finally reply to her.

    Me: Look. Lose my number hoe. Don’t text me again.


    I had been away from Ty for 3 weeks. And I felt good about it. It was January. And I had no plans of going back to Ty. He hurt me way to deep this time.

    Sean and I were becoming something serious. He bought me a new phone, but I kept the old one on. I knew Ty called me every day, and I knew eventually I would answer him. He was Lili’s dad and I wanted him to be a part of her life, but right now I was still too hurt to talk to him.

    Sean moved in with me and Lili and he really stepped up. He was working on an album, and he had just met some people who signed him. He was blowing up. He was gonna be famous. I had faith in him. Somehow I ended up with niggas who wanted to rap, and I guess it was because I liked that shit. I liked Jeezy. Sean had this flow about him… and his voice..

    I sat on the couch with Sean, and thought about everything I had been through. I felt like I was making a new start and it felt good. I knew that Kylie would be back soon, and I need some quality time with her. She and I got each other. Plus, she wasn’t a constant reminder of Ty, like how Heather and Trell were.

    When they stopped by last week, all decked out in LK shit, it was like a reminder of him. And I didn’t want that. I hated him. Michael Stevenson. I hated him.

    “You ok babe?”

    Sean pulled me to him, and I nodded, cuddling closer. I could see us going far, as long as he stayed the same. And didn’t cheat on me.

    I sighed as we watched the movie, and I thought more about Tyga, Sean, Lili and how my heart was still torn.


    I took the kids to the park before I took them to my moms. School had just started for them, and so Devante was back with me. I let them go off and play as I waited for Austin to come.

    “Man… sorry I took so long.”

    “It’s all good. We just here too, them lil niggas wanted nuggets. Fat asses.”

    He looked at me sideways as I took a bite out of my big mac before tossing a couple fries in my mouth.

    “I never said that I wasn’t a fatass!” I said after I swallowed.

    “Nigga. I’m nervous.”

    “About what?”

    “This baby. I’m scared. What if I’m not a good dad? What if Janelle decides to leave again, just run off and I never get to see my jit, what if”

    “Chillllllll my Nigga. She won’t. I been talked to her. She worrying just like you. Y’all need to sit and talk. She wants you in the life. You want to be there. You good. And trust me. I got Ari and D. D ain’t even mine by blood but that lil Nigga is my son too. And trust me you won’t get it perfect every time. But the fact that you trying. That’s all that matters. It’s what makes you perfect as a dad. That you worked your hardest and you tried to do everything you could. For your kid.”

    Austin looked up from his phone smiling, and looked at me again and I gave him that ‘what?’ face.

    “That was deep Nigga.”

    I nodded.

    “I been writing again, you know, thinking about shit. With Kylie gone, I really been thinking a lot, about life, and that I can be a good parent and that I love her, shit I love her so much, and how I miss Charity. I miss her Austin. And I think about if she’s watching over me, and Arianna, and if she misses us too. I mean. It wasn’t fair you know?”

    I sat back and took a deep breath, because I could feel my eyes tearing up and I was finally voicing everything I needed to get out. Austin checked his phone again before replying to a text.

    “I know Chris. We all miss her. And she’s always with you and Ari. You know that. And she really would want you happy. And Kylie makes you happy. Trust me. You and Kylie are made for each other. I mean you and Char… That was your match made in heaven. God thought of you while he made her. But you already know that the good ones go young.”

    I could tell Austin didn’t want to say die.

    “And you coulda lost Kylie. But you didn’t. You fought for her. And when she needed you most, you were there to save her. Trust me Nigga. You good.”

    I nodded and looked back at him, eyes dry. He was buried in his phone.

    “Naa Nigga, you good. You got a baby on the way, and shit, you still with Trice. You got it made.”

    I looked at my cell and saw it was nearing 6. Time to get these lil niggas home for a bath and bedtime.

    “I gotta get outta here man. Taking them to mamas and they need to bathe and sleep. Kylie comes home tomorrow.”

    He looked up from his iPhone, smiling. “I know man you gon be so excited. You gon get home and you gon be too happy to see her. Tomorrow won’t come fast enough.”

    I nodded and called Ari and D.


    I finally made it home and walked into the house. I was tired; I ate dinner at Mama’s, some good home cooking, and had the itis. I walked straight into the room, and stopped cold.

    “Hey baby.”

    Standing there in the room was Kylie. She was radiant, beautiful, and she was the most perfect thing I had ever seen.

    She walked up to me, and I swear I was dreaming.

    “I’ve missed you so much.”

    She wasn’t supposed to be here yet. She was coming home tomorrow. But here she was, and she looked beautiful. I cupped her face gently, and she didn’t flinch from my touch. The shine was back in her eyes.  She was my Kylie, the one with the blue green eyes, that I wrote songs about, the one who I loved, with all of my heart. Who was always there, for me.

    I kissed her, and she melted into me, our bodies like one as our lips touched and I knew that everything was exactly how God wanted it to be.

    In the back of my head I KNEW Austin knew. He thought he was slick with those words. I would have to give him a wedgie next time I saw him.

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